13/09/16
It has been a while since my last blog, and I have really missed writing it. So much has happened this past month, it’s hard to know where to begin. You could say things have been a little on the super busy side here with work, study, birthday getaways, and life in general taking over! And mixed in with all of that, I have been lucky enough to take on a dream role, working with the Abergavenny Food Festival, setting up a brand new Farmyard area for this year’s event filled with live animals, farmers, farming and food demo stalls, a brilliantly packed programme of bite size engaging talks from farmers and food producers, and a lively food debate to really get things going.
Its been an absolute blast to organise and be part of such an incredibly worthwhile and inspirational event that I have loved attending as a punter for the past decade or more.
It has really got my creative juices flowing again and made me feel like I am back in control of my skills and my worth in the workplace. Its been a hugely rewarding and satisfying experience and boosted my post maternity work confidence no end. I can do this and I can do this well. This is where I belong. This is what I am good at and what my TV skills are ideal for and the fact that it’s a local and globally renowned event is a huge bonus. Thanks for having me festival team – you guys are awesome and massively inspirational to work with.
It’s been full on of course, working evenings, weekends, days off etc…but it really has been fun. Let’s hope it all goes well on the day – if you are coming to the festival, or even just thinking about it, then do it and come and see me and my farm animals!
One of the best bits of working on the festival, besides being part of a legendary and leading event in the foodie calendar, is the approach to flexible working. They really understand that people have lives and parents need to work flexible hours so it’s been easy to fit in around Pads and other work and life commitments. This is fantastic and brilliantly forward thinking, and also very timely considering the frankly shameful latest statistics that discrimination against pregnant women or new mums has doubled in the last decade. How can businesses be moving backwards so quickly? I mentioned in a previous post how more should be done to protect new mums returning to work, specifically relating to breastfeeding/pumping guidelines, but this clearly needs to go further.
Women are great workers and they can multi task like no other because they have to. We deserve so much better. We deserve flexible working hours and days; to be able to work in a safe and non judgemental environment that accepts that yes we are parents, but we are also dedicated and efficient employees.
I value flexible working above all else now I am back at work as a new (ish!) mum. The freedom to work part time and from home for some of that while transitioning from maternity to working again and the option to start work earlier and finish earlier, or on some days start a little later and finish later too, flexible start and end times basically to fit around childcare and other parental concerns, top my list of wants. They aren’t big things for a business but they are huge for me. I have been really fortunate to find a company, well actually two now!, that totally respects my needs as a mother and has been open to changing my hours to better suit the times I need to collect my son from nursery etc… This should be the norm but I am fully aware that it isn’t.
Protect and support us and you have an incredible loyal and hard working work force that is also responsible for bringing up the next generation. Keep making us redundant or cutting our hours/demoting us as ‘punishment’ for having a baby and daring to put our careers second, is not good long term thinking. Ultimately it is the economy that will suffer and that is simply bad business.
I love that the social media training company Digital mums has taken this need for change on board with their #workthatworks movement, calling on businesses to embrace a new, more effective culture of working with mums, and dads!, in mind and starting a real conversation about how we can make this change happen. Support the cause and post a pic with the letters w, t, w spelt out (‘work that works’ initials you see – clever!) (my offering is below) and don’t forget to hashtag #workthatworks – let’s keep the conversation going on this one.
I could talk about this for days as you can probably tell, it’s great that it has finally made headline news and that some people are encouraging the country to follow Germany’s lead and put proper guidelines and practices in place for the proper treatment of pregnant ladies and new mums, let’s just hope that this subject keeps momentum and culminates in something actually being done and companies modernising their approach to working with mums, especially in helping and supporting them back into the workplace after maternity. It’s all about Flex Appeal right?
Back to the little man now. It has been a huge month for Paddington and he has developed leaps and bounds. He is 14 months this weekend. How did that happen?!! He might be the most fun he has ever been at the moment too. He is such a little dude and I sort of wish we could stay in this awesome baby to toddler bubble for all time. He is honestly the person I would choose to spend most of my time with at the moment as he is so much fun and it’s so rewarding to see how much he has learnt and grown lately. Here is what this month has brought with it:
1. I keep getting it in the face!
From an iPhone smacked excitedly into my cheek resulting in a juicy little bruise, to a wooden truck rammed into my lower jaw and mouth, which was just smashing early in the morning, and made me thankful I still had all my teeth afterwards, to being head butted in the eye which has given me the beginnings of a tasty shiner, it’s been a couple of weeks of my boy energetically expressing his excitement for things without fully realising his own strength or force, let alone how to control it yet! I love his youthful exuberance, I really do, but for now I am learning to approach with caution and dodge with speed before I really come a cropper!
2. Comedy genius.
Along with an increase in force, power and strength, my gorgeous little Padstar is realising that he can do things that make us laugh, and so he does them again. And again! Clearly this is genius. Some examples are dribbling for comedic effect – I know I shouldn’t encourage this, especially when he does it after taking a drink of water, but it is pretty funny and extremely cute. Vibrating his lips whilst making noises to produce a variety of silly sounds – this is properly hilarious. Especially when he does it out and about on walks or in the supermarket, he gets a lot of attention and laughs from his adoring public for this one, which of course, encourages him to get louder and louder!
I love that he is developing a real sense of humour and learning how to work a crowd and a situation for humorous affect – this will stand him in excellent stead in later life.
3. Talking to himself.
Another ovary massaging development of late, is really properly talking to himself in the mirror when I pick him up from nursery. He sits in his car seat, looking at his own reflection and chitter chatters merrily away, forming what really sounds like words, except of course they aren’t really (unless of course he is speaking another language and is actually a proper genius?!! Sometimes it sounds a bit Welsh…or Arabic…or perhaps Nordic?!) He also laughs at his own ‘jokes’, smiles coyly back and forth at his own likeness and kicks his feet away in joy. It is ace to witness and really shows what a happy and carefree chappy he is.
Speaking of which, his nursery keep commenting on how chatty and happy he is all day and how infectious his obvious joy at the world is. This makes me so proud of my boy and he really is a little ray of sunshine, gaining confidence every day and just happy to be living and to be loved. We could all learn a thing or two from that outlook.
4. Sit and swivel.
We have upgraded our little guy’s car seat as he was getting impossible to put in his old baby seat and getting a bit long for it too, so it was time to go for a big boy’s seat. Choosing one was a bit of a challenge as there are so many options, and some seriously pricey models too. My criteria was pretty simple though and helped us to narrow down our options: I wanted a swivel seat so I could get Pads in and out of it more easily now he is a wriggly and independent little mister, I wanted it to be rear facing for as long as possible as I still firmly believe that rear facing is safest and though he would love to face forward to see me more, his safety trumps that. And lastly I wanted him to be comfy so good cushioning and a nice soft and wipe able material were also key.
I did some initial research and read around on reviews and advice from fellow mums, and created a shortlist of 3 possibles. One visit to Mothercare later, and we had our new toddler seat, and Pads loves it.
It’s the Joie Spin 360 and I can highly recommend it as it ticked all of our safety boxes with the added bonus of not being ridiculously expensive either, and it will last him until he is at least 4 years old, rear facing (it has the option for forward facing too if we want to move him around in a couple of years). He has slept in it in most of our longer car journeys so that’s a seal of approval from him and I love that I can move the seat to get him in and out of the seat from any angle, no matter how close someone ends up parking to the passenger side, which has always been a big bugbear of mine as then I have really struggled to get him back in the car in his previous seat.
Putting the baby seat in storage was quite a big moment. My boy really is growing up and is not a baby anymore.
5. Viral rash panic.
I picked Pads up from nursery the other week and he had come out in a red rash all over his front and back bless him. He had been a bit out of sorts a day or two before, not eating as well as usual and doing pretty offensive nappies and the night before was one of the worst we have had in ages in terms of disturbed sleep, with little man just not able to settle at all and being really fidgety, uncomfortable and not really knowing what to do with himself. He was crying out and being inconsolable at points and felt a little warm to the touch, though he didn’t have a temperature at all. I thought it was teething or trapped wind as he did some almighty trumps the next morning but now it seems it was the start of him not being very well.
When I saw the rash on that evening after nursery, I immediately panicked a bit. You do as a mum don’t you, as your first thought is meningitis. I pressed on the rash and it blanched easily so I was pretty sure it wasn’t that. But I was worried. The nursery staff said they thought it was probably just a viral rash as he hadn’t quite been his usual chatty and fun self all day but he hadn’t been subdued or feverish either and they had seen this sort of rash before. That night would be the one night that Jon was staying away with friends and my mum was away on holiday too wouldn’t it, so I didn’t have my usual support team to reach out to.
He felt a little warm and was very snugly so he definitely looked a little unwell, but he took his booby milk fine in the car and then as we drove home, I spent the whole journey wondering what to do as I had never heard of a viral rash. As we passed the hospital I did wonder whether it was worth taking him to a and e but something in me said no. I am a huge believer of ‘if in doubt, get it checked out’ but I just wanted to take him home and trusted my instincts on this one.
Once home, he just wanted to go to bed so there were extra hugs and feeds and then he went to sleep deeply in my arms. This is when I noticed that the rash was on his arms too and I started to panic again. Should I have taken him to a and e after all? Was I a bad mother for not doing that right away? Perhaps I should take him now? So in desperation I reached out to my awesome mum pal Laura in a text and she called me back straight away whilst I was sitting with a sleeping Pads in my arms. She gave some excellent advice on viral rashes she had experienced before and it really did look and sound just like one and suggested I call my out of hours doctor. I hadn’t even thought of that so that was a top suggestion Laura and thanks for being there in mine and Pads hour of need.
I called the number and was called back within half an hour by a lovely local doctor who talked me through a diagnosis and said it sounded like it was just a viral rash which is super common and nothing to worry about. If I wasn’t sure I could bring him to the local out of hours service which was only 15 minutes away. I immediately felt a huge relief and mum guilt lifting as I had trusted my instincts and they were right. He was unwell but not badly so. And a trip to a and e would’ve been more stressful for him when he just wanted to rest and be held by his mum in familiar and cosy surroundings.
I kept an eye on him all night, laying in his room on his couch and then brought him to bed with me. He pretty much slept through and in the morning he seemed a little brighter but I wanted to be sure that this wasn’t anything more serious so we went to the doctors for a second opinion. And he confirmed that it was a viral rash and would go within a week or so and just to keep doing as I was doing and making sure he was hydrated and rested well, but to avoid nursery for a few days.
So I took the day off work to tend to my son and it was a lovely day. He slept lots in my arms, had plenty of boob and lots of kisses and cuddles and by the end of the day he was up for playing and laughing again and the rash had gone from his arms and was really faint on his body. Relief!
The worst bit was his nappies, they were awful. Some of his worst yet so it definitely effected his tummy bless him and we had quite a few poonami explosions (a few white body suits were sacrificed!). The upset tummy lasted a couple of days and he was a little quieter than usual and stared into space a few times which was a bit worrying as that’s really not like him. I am pleased to report that he is fully back to himself now and am hoping whatever that virus was, is long gone and will stay away!
6.Perfect point.
What has been amazing me lately, is how well my boy communicates what he does and doesn’t want. He is absolutely clear and very precise and I love that I can understand him. He really loves that too and gives the best scrunchy faced pleased as punch smile when he has been understood and gets what he wanted. It’s pretty darn clever to be able to communicate this well without real words.
A simple and instinctive point does the trick; whether it’s to a water bottle because he is thirsty; towards a piece of food that he fancies because he is peckish; towards a toy that he can’t reach and wants to play with or maybe towards a direction he wants to go in or heard a sound come from, I know what he means and wants almost all of the time which is ace. We have our own sign language going on and it makes us both feel proud and happy to be able to communicate in this way.
7. Adventurous spirit.
Pads has always shown a big spark of life and a desire to explore, discover, conquer and be on it/in it/under it and all over it. It’s one of his best characteristics and with his growing confidence and burgeoning ability, this has literally reached new levels. He is a climber. I can see him being a fearless base jumper or sky diver when he grows up to be honest. Terrifying. But rather cool as I am so the opposite and am pleased he seems to have his father’s love of the extreme and adrenaline fuelled activities already.
He has been climbing onto the sofas and up the stairs for a few weeks now, really quite competently and very very speedily. Now, he has figured out how to climb to the top of the fireguard in less than 5 seconds flat. It was quite a shock to see him trying to stand up on top of it like King Kong at the top of the Empire State!
His mischievous streak is in full force too, I have already had to dry out the Apple TV remote after it took a ‘swim’ in the toilet bowl thanks to Pads – luckily it now works again! (Top middle class mum tip: if you don’t have any rice to hand to dry out phones or remotes that have been drowned by your kids, quinoa does the job too!) He is actually fascinated by the loo at the moment so I have to be on my toes to catch him before he goes into the bathroom or he will be lifting the lid and putting his hand in – gross! He also traps his fingers in between the seat and the rim every time….
Doors are another joy. He is obsessed with opening and closing them which is usually fine as we have those door stopper things on most of the doors to stop him trapping his fingers but he has just discovered cupboard doors which don’t have any safety stoppers on them yet, so there’s been a lot of trapped fingers and crying lately while he figures that one out.
He is also a huge help in removing all the Tupperware and tins of food from our lovely practical open shelves in the kitchen and then putting them back in random orders and on different shelves, cupboards or just leaving them in a little pile on the floor. His sorting skills are fab and definitely to be encouraged and the little look of absolute concentration and absorption is great to watch, so he can help out in this way as much as he wants for now. It has made me reorganise the shelves to make sure he can’t get hold of anything dangerous or breakable though so that is a help – spring clean for us, great safe game for Pads.
To further encourage his sorting skill set I bought him a lovely wooden shape sorter that is also a little work bench where he can hammer the shapes into the holes. He loves it and sometimes even puts the right shape into the right hole…told you he was a genius, and those incidences were definitely not just flukes….
8.Now for the big news….a couple of weeks ago Pads took two steps of his own accord. It was one of those mum moments where you want to smile and cry and tell everyone yet also keep the moment to yourself all at once. He had been working on his standing from a squatting or seated position for a while and had that nailed. He has a low window ledge in his room so he has been using that to sit on and then launch himself to a standing position without using his hands. He has also been practicing standing from a sort of downward dog yoga move and occasionally from kneeling, all just using his core strength and thigh muscles. Then one day, he went from doing that to taking a quick two steps into my waiting arms. What a legend.
That week he did just two steps every day, as if quietly and deliberately building up his confidence and making sure he had that honed before moving on.
He also started using the lovely cuddly rocking bear we bought him at Xmas, which he doesn’t sit on for longer than about 30 seconds anymore, to push along the carpet and practice walking with. Then, I held one of his fav almost life size toys, Ted (yup, from the film!), out in front of him and he grabbed it in a sort of cuddle/balance hold and started walking with him (and a little support from me). This combined with his daily push along walks with the tractor, wooden walker and lawnmower, and grabbing our hands to walk him around too, have been building his courage and training his legs as well as working on his balance which is pretty good, most of the time.
Then last week, he stepped up his walking game again and took a few more solo steps with his arms up in the air as if on puppet strings for balance. And that’s it. He is a walker!
Each day he walks a little bit more and a little bit further. He can make it from the sofa to the table now which is about 2 arms lengths in distance. He also takes my hands in his with determination as a signal for me to walk with him so he can practice on different surfaces and over bigger distances. He doesn’t walk all the time and still crawls, especially if he wants to get somewhere quickly or with ease, but he is walking daily and working on it, like a real skill that he is desperate to get the hang of quickly.
This has of course started to effect his sleep but not so much how long he sleeps for, as he is tiring himself out much more he is usually sleeping a good 7 hours at night which is all kinds of brilliant, but it’s making him really hard to settle down and get off to sleep in the evenings as all he wants to do is practice standing and walking!
With the walking in full swing, we decided it was time to invest in some good shoes for him to build his confidence with and enable him to safely and comfortably walk outside, so off to Clarks we went for Pads first shoe fitting rite of passage. We chose some classic cruisers that bend with his feet and are apparently better than going straight to harder walking shoes as they give them confidence and support without being too heavy or cumbersome to lift which can put them off walking.
Within 24 hours of him having them, his walking improved. He loves wearing them and looking at them. I think they make him feel like a bigger kid, and are clearly comfy or he wouldn’t keep them on. He delights in peeling back the Velcro fastenings when he is sitting in his car seat, giggling away at the sound it makes. They have encouraged him to walk more when we are out and about and I reckon there will be no stopping him now!
Pads your will and determination to walk well is an honour and a privilege to be part of and you are nailing it in your own time and in your own way.
Pads, the walking years, have begun and I am excited (and also a little pleased that he is still crawling as well, as his crawl is so cute I am not ready for that to be over yet!).
9. Pads first glamping trip.
It was Jon’s birthday this last weekend so Pads and I treated him to a camping trip – well, it was a wagon on a beautiful ranch campsite, so a glamping trip really. We thought a tent in September in Wales might be pushing it with Padstar, and I am very pleased we went with a solid structure as it didn’t half rain on the first day!
The whole trip was a huge success, Jon loved it and so did Pads most importantly. He loved padding about our cool wagon, complete with snugly sleep pod, and exploring the wet grass outside in his new shoes, and all that fresh air and excitement over watching the camp fire meant that he was asleep by 7pm, and it only took 10 minutes to get him to sleep, and he didn’t wake up until 5am the next morning – result! He fell asleep in the big bed in the wagon as his travel cot would have taken up the rest of the space, and it was the perfect giant cot for him as it was only open on one side which was easily barricaded by a rolled up duvet with a stash of pillows and cushions on the floor in case he got adventurous and tried to climb out. Luckily, he didn’t as he was just too darn cosy, and it was lovely to join him later in the sleep den to all drift off together.
This meant that Jon and I got to spend a gorgeous romantic evening cooking and eating under the stars by the warmth and glow of the camp fire, and enjoy some time just the two of us. It was lush, so thanks Pads for treating us to one of your best nights sleep ever!
Next Summer, we are going to go full on camping now we have dipped our toes in the water and we reckon Pads will love it- and appreciate the fun of sleeping under canvas more then too.
Until next time Gadget…
parentingpaddington 